Update on life

For the last 2 weeks, I've called the couch of a good friend's family in Atlanta, home. They have been absolutely wonderful hosts, and I feel like a lazy slob spending most of my day working from their couch. I'm going to have to get them a nice, little Christmas something.

So this Sunday is pretty exciting - my old professor and good friend, Jason Maurer, is having his feature film, Delgo, released nation wide. Unfortunately, I'm in Atlanta, so I'll have to see it here, but won't be able to see it in Savannah, where Jason is planning on seeing it with everyone. It doesn't feel like a huge deal, which is odd. Perhaps it's due to knowing Jason on a personal level. In reality, though, it's hardly the case. This is huge for Jason and the Fathom Studios team. Working as hard as they did to make this, it's good to see their persistence and dedication to the film has finally paid off. Knowing what I do about major distribution (which is honestly very little), I know how hard it can be to get your film noticed nationally like that. I hope Jason and the rest of Fathom Studios gets some well deserved street cred, or some returned profit income.

Anyway, life moves ahead for me. Still working contract on advertising projects, applying to animation and storyboard studios around the country and abroad, trying to work my film into various festivals and showings, and dealing with corporate America and the ever tightening belt of economic recession. But, post-college awkwardness can't last forever, right? Right.

You know it's bad when...

...Australia is taking jabs at the US.

http://news.bbc.co.uk/2/hi/in_depth/7771002.stm

I found this to be very interesting, and reflected how we as Americans, more often then not, feel a compulsive need to be the best, the greatest, the grandest. It's a simple article about drinking in Australia, and how bad it's gotten.

The BBC reporter asks the following question to a British migrant:

BBC Reporter: "As a British Migrant to Australia, where does this country get its boozey reputation from?"

British Migrant: "Western Culture. Western Culture, isn't it? Western Culture...you gotta be doing things in excess. You gotta be assumed to be having the best time, the greatest time, the biggest time - the best weekend ever."

I mean, he's absolutely right.
"Can I get that super sized?"
"This is gonna be the best birthday ever."
"Give it your best shot."

Why not just give it a "shot" sometimes? Why do we always compete in this country? Land of opportunity, sure, but how many college students end up in the hospital with stress related sicknesses ever semester?

It really gives you that knock in your stomach - that awful, guilty feeling. It's like being associated with that kid who causes trouble in school, even though you know deep down he's got good intentions. But what's that saying, "The road to Hell is paved with good intentions"?

Aniboom Continues

I'm not entirely convinced that these Aniboom Awards are judged correctly. Whether it be a flawed voting system, or just the general publics sense of taste, many great films are going entirely unnoticed. It should also be said, that if you're looking for top-notch films and fair play in judging, this is most definitely not your venue. But the simple fact that someone's class exercise is outranking some wonderful short films is appalling to me. So, I guess in taking action and doing what I can about the situation, I thought I'd share some films I think deserve to be in the top ten.

*Note - none of these films are even in the top 30.

Aniboom Awards 2008

Watch more cool animation and creative cartoons at aniBoom

I've decided to show my finished senior project at the 2008 Aniboom Awards. Hopefully this will help get a little exposure while I try to find some bigger venues for the film.

There is a "viral video" aspect of it, with a grand prize of $25,000. Although the prospect of $25,000 is appealing, it's not quite enough for my to nag and bother everyone I'm connected to on the internet for votes. Never cared for it in the past, and not much has changed.

So anyway, if you've not seen my film yet, It'd mean the world to me if you'd take just a few minutes and check it out. If you've already seen it, there is a completely new soundtrack mixed to the film, courtesy of a Mr. Andrew Miller, so give it a listen.

9/11: 7 years later

And so here we stand, 7 years later, from what cannot be denied by anyone as a moment in history that should not be soon forgotten.

Perhaps it's something in my current nature, or perhaps it's something else entirely, but I will not pretend that I have not questioned the legitimacy of that attack. Was it Al Qaeda? and if so, how did they attack us? Were they helped? How could we not prevent this from happening? Admittedly, I have asked more questions after seeing the documentary, Zeitgeist. I would also recommend that people view it, not because of what it says, but because it inspires a reaction. It cannot be full truth, as seldom things ever are, but it does raise very interesting points that I have yet to find answers for on my own.

But I digress.

I am not here to persuade one way or the other. What people choose to believe is their own agenda and nothing more. What I am here to say is that we should all unarguably recognize one thing: On this day, innocent people were intentionally attacked.

I read a quote that quelled troubled thoughts I had, that perhaps humanity was indeed dying in this troubled world. And I will leave you with it as I go to bed and sleep these thoughts away.

"It is easier to accept natural or unintentional tragedies; it is the intentional loss of life that makes us fear that some people have lost their humanity."

Lazy

Procrastination

A short film by John Kelly.

This accurately describes what can happen when you're hit with "possibility paralysis".
I do it. You do it.

As a matter of fact, I bet you're doing it right now...
Now back to work with you!

How do you animate lightning again?

Oh yea.
That's how.

The 2008 Olympic Games

I am relatively excited about this years Summer Olympics. I think it highlights a lot of great things for our global community, and reminds everyone in the world, even if only for a moment or two, that we're all in this together.

Not only do I enjoy that the Olympics bring about this universal awareness of each other, but I enjoy the progression of the games as well. The opening ceremonies were gorgeous, and I'm a little disappointed that I didn't get to watch the first 20 minutes. BUT, with the wonder that is the world wide web, not only can I catch recaps and highlights of the ceremony, but I can, at any given moment, log into the 2008 Bejing Olympics homepage and watch an event going on, streaming live, free of charge (right now I'm watching women's soccer, Japan vs. US - earlier it was men's badminton and women's Judo) But events that I never cared about (interestingly enough, all the one's that got crap coverage on the t.v. stations) are now pumped with a new life, because it's given it's own moment in the sun via internet. Just fun, fun stuff.

The games really are a wonderful thing, and I think we'd all do well to take a moment and remember that they are just that - games. Medals, pride, and stiff competition aside (though that IS the lifeblood of these events) they are just games, and what we're really doing is coming together, for maybe a few hours at a time, looking someone else who doesn't speak a lick of your language right in the eye, and squaring off, to essentially say, "Hey, look - we both enjoy doing the same exact thing."

Then comes the excitement. Thanks to this streaming coverage deal, I tune in to every event going, "I wonder if the US has gone yet," and find myself twitching with sophomoric giddy when I see a US contender. I mean, in a day and age where it's almost shameful to admit your American in a global setting, it's nice to have something to root for. It doesn't make me hate politics, or wish things were different. It's just nice to ROOT for the US instead of cringing for it.

Either way, these games will be a refreshing few weeks of entertainment at least. Plus, the night owl in me greatly appreciates the around the clock coverage. haha.

The Dark Knight

The Dark Knight Delivers

The Clown Prince of Crime steals the show.

I'm sure everyone has heard the buzz surrounding Heath Ledgers performance in this movie, with talk floating in the air about Academy Award nominations and Oscar worthy acting. Perhaps all of it is nothing more then polite commentary after his tragic passing only months after the films shooting ended. Either way, I was eager to see it for myself, and I can honestly say that it lives up to every bit of the hype.

Any good comic geek can tell you that The Joker is Batman's antithesis in regards to morale justice and integrity. The yin to his yang, as it were, but what REALLY makes the 2 characters so much bloody fun to watch is that the line between the 2 characters is unimaginably thin.

The Joker has always seems watered down outside comics. Not quite campy, but not quite raw enough. The Dark Knight nailed it. The Joker is supposed to be messed up - I mean, REALLY screwed up in the head, and Heath Ledger's portrayal marks him as the best Joker of all time. It can easily be argued that The Joker steals the show, because every moment that he's not on screen, your waiting (and at the same time, silently dreading) the next time he will appear. He's eerie and mystifying, and every bit as messed up as The Joker should be.

I also bow down to Hans Zimmer & James Newton Howard, because they gave this movie the mood and feel that Gotham City deserves. The absolutely chilling violin crescendo, that eerily creeps louder and louder, adds to the tension and uneasiness of the characters and the film overall. Just wonderfully enhancing, chilling, and driving.

The areas and themes explored also oozed tension - self doubt, sexuality (separate loves), and the all endearing pure psychotic glee, to name a few.
The viewer is forced to watch as The Batman is helpless to stop this psycho path in fear of losing himself to the same madness. And The Joker IS mad. Completely mad. You feel utterly ill watching The Joker parade through Gotham City unchecked, like a cancer slowly digging its tendrils into the heart of the city. Dark, dark, dark - this movie is gritty as hell. It transcends the pulpy medium it was born into and rises it to an entirely new level.

This movie is real. It will resonate within every movie goer on some level. The second I knew this was going to the kind of movie I'd hoped for was when The Joker did his "magic trick" at the beginning of the film. That just, totally fucked up moment of humor that you know you're going to hell for laughing at, but all the while realizing that you're only laughing to easy the tension - you're actually not really "laughing" at all. Because you know that it's not funny. It's wrong. THAT'S why The Joker was so good. Excellent writing. Excellent acting. Excellent execution.

If EVERY Batman story were told with this kind of attention to character detail, it would be my favorite series hands down. I eagerly await the chance to see this movie again.

Site's Up!

Check it out if you have a second.

http://www.adamtoewsonline.com

Guy Who Has No Idea About Baseball Calls The Game

John Mayer calling a Red Sox Game during his stay in Japan.

Don't worry John - you'll always have music.

The 47 Ronin and my visit to the Sengaku-ji Temple

I feel very compelled to reflect on something that I think I took for granted - an experience I didn't actually feel as honored to have had when I had it.

I recently went to Japan this past winter, and it fulfilled me in more ways then I can accurately describe. The culture, it's people, it's history - all things that I've wanted to experience and feel since I first learned about Japan.

Now, it's not to trip that I feel I took for granted, but a place that we visited on the very last day of our 2 week trip to the island. That trip was to Sengaku-ji Temple, to burial site of the 47 Ronin, Lord Asano, and Lady Asano.

If you've no idea what or who the 47 Ronin are, this might make little sense as to why I feel so ashamed as to have taken so little time to acknowledge my visit. To me, we were just visiting another tourist site, but it is so much more. Let me share just why by giving you a brief introduction to the tale.

The 47 Ronin were what was left of over 120 Samurai who served Lord Asano, the county lord of Ako. Lord Asano was sentenced to death after striking at a man, Kira Kozukenosuke, who insulted his family name. The strike left Kira severely wounded, but not dead. Shortly thereafter, Asano's land was seized and his family now cast from the record books.

Oishi Kuranosuke, the retainer of the remaining Ronin (lordless Samurai), vowed to take revenge on Kira for insulting their late Lord and the name Asano. The Ronin were, unfortunately, watched very closely by Kira and the House of Uesugi, who had adopted Kira into their ranks. Oishi was watched particularly close, with a spy stationed outside his house for nearly 2 years. It came to the point where, in order to even get the chance to strike at Kira, the Samurai had to soil their respectable names by pretending to be farmers, peasants, and even woman chasing drunks, in order to convince the ever watching forces that they'd given up in trying to pursue any thought of revenge.

Like a true samurai, their dedication and discipline paid off, and the spies were recalled. Shortly thereafter, nearly 2 years after the death of their lord, the remaining forces gathered in Edo (what is now Tokyo for the most part) to plan their actions. Only 47 samurai were left to launch the attack on Kira, which happened on December 14th, 1702. The battle itself lasted only a few hours, but once Kira was defeated, with only 6 injured, the Samurai marched, I believe some 14+ miles, to Sengaku-ji Temple, where Lord Asano was buried, and presented the severed head of Kira to their deceased lord.

After much debate, 46 of the Ronin (excluding one of the youngest, who was sent by Oishi to Ako to tell the people of Kira's defeat) were sentence to sepukku (honorable suicide) and buried next to their lord. The one remaining Samurai (17 at the time) lived to be 75, and was buried with his fellow samurai at Sengaku-ji temple.



I justed finished reading The 47 Ronin Story by John Allyn, which mainly details the based on real fact story of Oishi Kuranosuke as lead retainer of the samurai. After reading this story, I've come to realize the true power and sacrifice this story displays. Assuming that the true facts and details towards the life stories of a lot of these men are lost to history, one true fact remains - the men made the ultimate sacrifice for a goal and purpose, and followed it through for honor and justice. Reading the book seemed to put it into perspective just how historically important these men were. What they stood for. What they accomplished.

And I was there.

well, in a sense. I walked on the same ground they did. Saw the same pool they washed the head of Kira in. Looked at the same grave site that Oishi did where his Lord was buried.

I inadvertently wandered up a small hill while at Sengaku-ji temple, not really knowing what I was looking for. Something about the area though - it seemed to call me towards it. It was inviting, and peaceful. At the top of the hill was a small gravestone that was fenced off from the public. I stood and stared at it for a good 5 minutes. I can't to this day tell you why I did. I just felt compelled to stay there and not move. I took a photo of a fenced off grave and turned back towards the group, not really giving it much else thought.

It wasn't until I finished the book, and did a little research online about the grave site that I realized the importance of that gravestone. I found this picture online, and it was labeled, "Oishi headstone. Sengakuji Temple, Tokyo, Japan"



Knowing that I went to the grave site at Sengaku-ji, I scrolled back through my pictures, and noticed that the grave I found on top of that small incline was none other then Oishi's grave.


(picture I got by holding the camera up over the top of the fence)


Anyway, I guess what I wanted to say was this:
Looking back on what these men did, and the sacrifices they made makes my trip to Sengaku-ji temple all the more powerful. The fact that they have been there, and preserved for over 300 years is a feat in itself, but also tells a lot about the respect and honor the Japanese people have for these fallen warriors. I wish I could go back and see it again, knowing about them what I know now.

Perhaps I will one day. Go back to the land of the rising sun, and visit this ancient warriors one more time, and truly honor them in the fashion they deserve.

Weather the storm

I've touched upon how hard the last few months have been, with so much bearing down on me and not enough arms to hold them all up. Picking and choosing priorities has been tough, as I usually end up trying to please everyone. But I've gotten better at it, and really organized myself. Unfortunately, I find myself sitting here with a budding cold that's left me with even less energy and focus then normal. The stress, it seems, has finally penetrated my defenses, and left me with a dizzying headache, a cough that could wake the dead, and a voice scratchier then Barry White during allergy season. I can partly thank my post-surgery vocal cord paralysis for that, coupled with a sore throat and a constant clearing of the throat. This has lead me to stay away from the animation building in fear of passing this lovely gift on to anyone else.

But back to work related topics - Every day this weekend, I've managed to crank out a pretty large chunk of work, but the beginning of the next day I'm presented with the still mounting workload that needs doing, crushing any semblance of a good mood I might have been lucky enough to receive that day. For example, Friday (when the cold hit) I managed to get a fair amount done with clean-up on my friend short film, coming steps closer to completing that scene. Saturday, I spent almost all day (a short soccer game aside) doing a 12 source bibliography, a brief abstract of the paper, and a sentenced outline for the final draft to come. I wanted to make the outline pretty in depth, so as to make the actual writing of the paper fairly simple (keep in mind I'd done NO research on my topic, Alberto Giacometti, prior to the bibliography or outline). Afterward, with the little time I had left in the day, I attempted to catch up on some portfolio work which was due last week. Sunday was home to most of that, and other work that had missed deadline, including an in depth paper of 20 prospective companies and a general outline for a flat book that is due (fully printed) by Thursday. Afterward, it was on to creating the groundwork for a website in Flash with a limited knowledge of action script. I dove in headfirst, and found myself regularly surfacing for air as the illness took its tole on me.

Finally, not any more then an hour ago, I'd managed to piece something together to resembled what I'd envisioned. But as I turn to head to bed, I look at the still seemingly impossible workload before me. I'd not touched my friend film in 2 days. I have a flat book due Thursday that I've not even touched, and 3 pages of finished pencils due on the same day. I've also got to find time to jump through the paperwork hoops to get the classes I need for the summer, as well as attend to some Flash files for work.

Just talking with family and friends, I've concluded that I am indeed just in a sad place right now. There is a lot of negative energy around me, and this cold seems to be amplifying it. At a time where graduation is supposed to bring some type of joy or excitement for something new, I find myself sulking and dragging my behind towards just piles and piles of never ending work.

But the kind words of my father and mother help to put things in perspective.

"This, too, will pass."

Whether I want it to or ask it to, this will eventually come to an end, and a new chapter will start. Will it be on the foot I'd hoped for? Ya never know, but like life, you can bet it's not gonna be exact.

Pick and Choose

Found this really interesting fan-made video on aniboom of the Gorillaz song "Latin Simone". It's the original UK release of the song, which happens to have lyrics. After hearing this song now with lyrics, I'd have to say that it shoots up to one of my favorites by the band. And I gotta say, the video does it justice. Better then "Rock It", that's for sure.

Anyway, like I was saying about the added lyrics, it's amazing what 1 added element can do to something. Before, with just the beat and synths and horns, it was ok. But just ok. With the lyrics - I dunno, something just clicks with it all, like it was meant to have those all along. And how like life, and art in particular, where you're just not feeling something all the way, and then BAM - you add one little thing and the entire thing falls together.

Anyway, enjoy the song and video for what they are. Good stuff. I'm back to drawing Bartman, looking up prospective jobs, and hopfully getting a few hours sleep before classes.

I've never felt this stressed...

I am experiencing an unbelievable amount of pressure. Never in my life have I felt this forced to the edge. I'm sitting now, looking over at a half inked Batman page, and it's just looking poor, poor, poor. All I can think about is how I have a flat book layout due at 2 p.m. tomorrow which I haven't been able to start because of this batman page, and the 3 assignments for work that need doing cause they've sent me an e-mail asking if I'd made any progress since last time. Also in my e-mail was a reminder that the senior film I have been kept from by other classes and obligations, is wrapping up in 4 1/2 weeks, and I feel awful that I've been able to do so little on it thus far, ESPECIALLY since she worked so hard on my senior film last quarter. I really feel just awful and terrible and crummy about my lack of dedication to that film, and I have no one to blame but myself, but even accepting the blame isn't enough, because if her film doesn't hit deadline, it's partially my fault (though I'll feel as if it is entirely my fault - I should be working on her stuff, not mine). I've still not recorded final sound for my film, or added shadows, or been able to do a final clean-up pass. My girlfriend has been under an unbelievable amount of stress with family related deaths/sicknesses, which has in turn transfered stress over to me. I still have a handful of projects to finish for my portfolio to strengthen it, and all I'd like to do is sit in open model sessions this Friday to bulk up on the 50 pages of figure drawings that are due at the end of the quarter for penciling and inking. I've yet to do any of the reading this week due to 3 or 4 other projects for my online art history class, and I have test due before Friday, and I'm rather sure a rough draft of a research paper due before Sunday.

When you know that you can't possibly do you best work in order to hit deadlines, not only do you suffer mentally, but when you hit critiques in class, everyone just thinks your work is bad, when it's simply a matter of priority. So you shake it off, knowing you're doing the right thing - putting your attention where it matters, but the harsh criticism lingers, because you blame it on lack of effort. When in reality, you're working harder then ever before.

This is not real life. How can it be? I'm not trying to make excuses, but it's honestly not fair. Life isn't fair, I know, I know - how can it be, but I'm just feeling freaking abused right now. And I'm getting no sympathy, which again - awww, poor baby. Suck it up, right? But I'm reaching the breaking point, and I'm gonna need to start making some serious decisions and commitments to certain things and let the rest of the chips fall where they may. I hate, hate, HATE that idea - not trying or even attempting certain things in order to hit deadlines of other things, but I honestly have no choice. My career as a professional, industry artist FAR surpasses my career as a college student.

Well, time to face my rushed and messy comic page in hopes I can touch my flat book before it's due later today.

Sleep and Music

I don't much care for sleep these days. It's not that I don't like sleep, because sleep is the first thing I think about when I wake up. And as much as I love a good 10 hour session watching eyelid movies, I can't help but feel detached from everything that happened the day before. Whether it's for better or worse, every time I go to sleep, I reset myself. I suppose it all comes down to a matter of perception, but if it were up to me, I'd love to carry over the feeling of accomplishment after a hard days work, or the inspiration you get from seeing a great piece of work. But at the end of the day, you close your eyes and you start completely new again. I suppose it's moments like that, coupled with the resetting each day that makes those moments so nice and memorable.

Either way, I thought I'd introduce something to the blog that I've been doing on my own time. Taking a song or piece of music, and writting about whatever it inspires me to write about. So here goes:

"Assault on Precinct Zero"
This song is supremely catchy. Created by the guys who wrote the soundtrack to a favorite animated movie of mine, Tekkonkinkreet, done by Studio 4c, I'd have to say that this is one of my favorites by them. If artist Koji Morimoto had a theme song, this would be it. If my inner child had a theme song, this would be ONE of them (because I see my inner child as amorphous, or constantly changing, so it would need more then 1 song). The most fun about this song though, is that it tells a story. A beginning, middle, and end, as most songs should have, but this story is fun, and pretty evident. A story about a hero, who conquerors evil, but doesn't for a moment lose sight of his own innocence. A little deep there, but you get the point.

Well, that's it for now. It's been a long night with no sleep, and I need to put some finishing touches on a 1 page spread. Till next time then.

Prophet - Forerunners Decent

Here's a clip from my upcoming film, which should be done sometime within the next couple of months.